Happy and Heartbroken
Is it possible to be happy and heartbroken at the same time?
Happy that my son is with Jesus; heartbroken that I will never see what his life here would have become.
Happy that I have a granddaughter that is the spitting image of my son in so many ways; heartbroken that she will only know her dad through stories and pictures. Happy that my son’s wife has found a new love and a new chapter; heartbroken that it seems like such a final chapter for me.
I think it is possible to have both of those emotions at the same time and that it is a true source of turmoil.
What do we do with the conflicting thoughts? How do we channel that confusion and turmoil into something positive? I think that I’ve discovered several things that can be done.
The first is to recognize that we have these inner conflicts and that they are not always neatly resolved in our heads. Yes, we can try to have logical arguments inside that neighborhood we call our mind, but that may only seem to cause more problems. Recognizing that there are no rules and solid solutions in matters of the heart is the first step.
The second thing is to focus on the good that will come out of this. Lives may be changed, people may have found their perfect place in life, and children become reflections of an innocence of thoughts that we completely lose as we get older. Instead of trying to figure out everyone else’s motives or thoughts about this and that, we must focus on good things that may be a direct result of the not-so-good things.
Finally, we must learn to recognize that the Lord stretches and bends us so that we may grow in our faith and our maturity. We may feel that we cannot be expected to bend so far, but the reality is that the Lord does not let us break. This kind of turmoil is like a roller coaster. We take twists and turns, we wonder how we got on this ride, we sometimes get sick, we swear we will never do this again but…we know that the ride ends and we get off and we’re fine; no missing limbs, no permanent damage. And after the ride, we know that we can make it to the end.
The trick I think is to focus on the joy. It’s not the same joy you have before you lost your hero, of course. It is a more grown-up version. But we can find joy in new things, leaving the clutter of misunderstandings, miscues, and misdeeds behind. Honestly, there are not many people out there who make it their life’s work to steal our joy. We just need to re-educate ourselves to see joy in new places and new ways. And, we must remember that our joy is not wrapped up in someone else.
Happiness and heartbreak are temporary emotions. Joy is something deep down inside. It may be hidden at times, but it is constant, it is a gift from your Savior, and it is the one thing that gives you the peace that passes all human understanding.
She is also the mother of an American Hero. Her only child, Sgt. Rhys W. Klasno was killed in action on "Mother's Day," 13 May 2007 in Haditha, Iraq. Read her American Hero Tribute Blog and check out her Roofing Solutions Wonderkid Blog
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