I had an epiphany the other day. It happened I think when I was speaking with some other Gold Star Families. I suddenly realized that it’s not about me! You may chuckle to yourself when I say that because we all would like to think everything that happens is about us. Galatians 6:3 says “For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”

But what I realized is that the loss of our hero makes us uniquely qualified to reach out to others who are hurting. All we need is a servant’s heart. We should be “bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.” (Ephesians 6:6-8). We each have a story to share that connects us with others who are fearful or sorrowful. We can truly say to someone, “I understand the personal pain, I’ve been there.” But we can also say that we’ve made it to the other side of the valley. We can make ourselves available to share, to hold, to hug, or to sit in silence. We get it.

I challenge all of those who are in this position not to forget your hero, not to minimize the sadness, but to consider that so many others can be served. So many people are lost and struggling. You were made for a time such as this. You can make a difference.