The true adventures in my life have involved people, not just any people, but the people that leave lasting impressions.  You may never even meet some of them a second time, but you always remember them.  Michael and I met a wonderful couple, Paul and Jan, from England when we were on vacation last fall.  They are an amazing couple and the three days that we combined our journeys were some of the most fun we’ve had.  We trust that we will see them again, but even if we didn’t we would always remember them.

A journey through grief is also a kind of adventure and the people you meet on this journey are truly the kind of people you will remember forever.  In this journey some of the human race’s most endearing, gracious, and merciful qualities become real.  We have met amazing people on the journey through the aftermath of Rhys’ death. (more…)

I did it again. I just bought something and thought to myself, “Rhys would have thought this was pretty cool.” It’s very strange how we continue to ponder what our sons (or daughters) would think about some benign action that we take as we move through our lives without them. I hear a song, or see something in a store, or make a purchase, or see something in his daughter about which I think Rhys would really have something to say. Then I pause and think to myself, “I guess I’ll never know about that.”

What’s odd is that our son is stuck at that one age. We knew what he would think about all kinds of things at that age. But our minds play tricks on us. We see Rhys’ friends making grown-up adult decisions and having adult opinions about everything. We always wonder what Rhys’ opinions would have become. And that my friends, is the saddest part. What would our son have become? What would we be talking about on a Saturday afternoon? Would we have feared multiple deployments? Would we talk about the economy? Kids? Parenting? (more…)

It is with great sadness that I follow-up my last post with the news that Bob Markham passed away the other night. A humble man with respect to his military service, Bob is truly a hero to Michael and to me, not just for that service, but because his calling was honoring those who have been killed in action in our most recent conflicts. His mission was to make sure those who died in Iraq and Afghanistan received the honor and remembrance that he and the veterans of Vietnam never received.

Bob’s mission was small, placing the flags on those graves in Riverside National Cemetery every Saturday, but so great and honoring in the lives of families left behind. Bob’s vision of America and its military was “old school” in some minds. Bob was proud to be an American and knew that serving in her military was a small sacrifice made in gratitude to those who have gone before and as a way of saying proudly, “this is my America.” (more…)

We are fortunate because we live near one of the 130 National Cemeteries in the United States. Everyone knows about Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, DC; few know about the others.

I say we’re fortunate for 2 reasons; one because our son Rhys is buried there and two, because being in the vicinity of a cemetery dedicated to our military veterans is a constant reminder of the sacrifices Americans make for their fellow citizens of the US and fellow citizens of the world. A visit to a National Cemetery is truly a humbling experience.

We put flags out every week on the graves of those brave men and women killed in combat during the current Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts, a mission that we have taken over for an aging and now sick veteran. We are proud to call Bob Markham our friend, a kind man, a former soldier, whose ministry in life since his wife’s death is to honor each young man and woman buried there who has died in combat in these current conflicts. We met Bob one Saturday while we were placing flowers on Rhys’ grave. We saw Bob many times after that, placing flags every Saturday. Often we saw only the results, as he was there earlier than anyone else. (more…)