I am struggling, but not with what one would think in the context of the loss of my son. My struggle is more about what my obligation should be as the survivor of this event.

First, my obligation is NOT:

• To try to get constant accolades as the survivor of an American hero that laid his life down for his country. It is my son that should get the recognition, not me. Michael and I raised Rhys, but we raised him to be responsible and independent. We raised him to make his own choices after weighing the possible consequences. In short, we raised him to be a man. As a man, Rhys made the sacrifice. Although I believe Rhys deserves recognition for his service and sacrifice, he would say, “I’m just doing my job. Why all the brouhaha?”

• To try to make people feel sorry for me. Michael and I had the joy that was Rhys. He was lightning in a bottle and we experienced that. All I can tell people is that they would have liked Rhys. He was a compassionate, caring, and loving person, with a strong sense of personal responsibility to God, to us, to his wife, and to his country.

• To make people think they owe me something just because I’m the mom of an American serviceman. Rhys made the sacrifice, not me. I was blessed to be his mom and to see the man he became. That is a gift every parent longs for and may or may not get a chance to see. I always appreciate the recognition of my son’s service to his country, just as I recognize the service of all of our military men and women.

My obligations are:

• To recognize and THANK all of our military personnel wherever and whenever possible. These are the true heroes and we are all obligated to recognize both their fearless defense of our country and the serious strain that service places on their families.

• To live fearlessly as an American, proud of the country our founding fathers envisioned and defending the liberty granted to us by those visionaries.

• To be true to my faith in my Lord and Savior, recognizing that He has a plan and purpose for every human life. I was blessed with an amazing son and at the moment he ceased to live on this earth, Jesus took him into His arms and whisked him away to his residence in Heaven.

• To comfort those in need and in grief, just as I have been comforted by Jesus and by amazing people and mentors that have been placed in my path by Him.

My goal is to help others move forward. I understand the grief and I understand the journey. I don’t want to get bogged down in the actual event over and over again. What I want to do is put that grief in a place of my choosing. In filing it away in a place I choose, I can retrieve it or evaluate it as I want to or when I feel the need.

This is me, not letting my grief control my life.

This is my message and this is my true obligation as the survivor. I want to let other survivors know that we can be comforted and we can comfort others as no one else can. My obligation is to channel the loss of my hero into a positive motivation to help others in whatever way I can.

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Lynn

Account Executive at Sika Sarnafil

Lynn is an accomplished writer and business professional with a BA in English, an MBA, and JD degrees from prestigious Universities. Lynn has worked in the construction industry for 35 years.

She is also the mother of an American Hero. Her only child, Sgt. Rhys W. Klasno was killed in action on "Mother's Day," 13 May 2007 in Haditha, Iraq. Read her American Hero Tribute Blog and check out her Roofing Solutions Wonderkid Blog

Latest posts by Lynn (see all)

• HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY RHYS - July 16, 2016
• Running the Race - August 4, 2014
• Testing the limits of my endurance - July 4, 2014