I must admit that in the height of grief, we made mistakes.  We handled things in a way that, looking back, seems almost ridiculous.  But in that moment, decisions made are not always the best, or even remotely like the decisions we would make if we were thinking clearly.  In our pain, we reacted without thinking.  Life does not generally prepare anyone to react logically and lovingly in the midst of incomparable sorrow.

We reacted badly to our daughter-in-law Stephanie’s hurt and pain in the loss of Rhys, and in doing so we made it worse.  But, in the midst of that we chose to leave this problem at the feet of Jesus.  I kept going back and picking it up, until Michael told me one day, “Just leave it there, Lynn!”  I had to actively seek God’s will in this matter.  When I finally let go, Jesus began a great work in me, helping to give me a new perspective and helping me understand what I was too stubborn and hurt to try to understand previously.  As I changed, Jesus began the work in Stephanie as well, and even in little London. (more…)

The true adventures in my life have involved people, not just any people, but the people that leave lasting impressions.  You may never even meet some of them a second time, but you always remember them.  Michael and I met a wonderful couple, Paul and Jan, from England when we were on vacation last fall.  They are an amazing couple and the three days that we combined our journeys were some of the most fun we’ve had.  We trust that we will see them again, but even if we didn’t we would always remember them.

A journey through grief is also a kind of adventure and the people you meet on this journey are truly the kind of people you will remember forever.  In this journey some of the human race’s most endearing, gracious, and merciful qualities become real.  We have met amazing people on the journey through the aftermath of Rhys’ death. (more…)

I did it again. I just bought something and thought to myself, “Rhys would have thought this was pretty cool.” It’s very strange how we continue to ponder what our sons (or daughters) would think about some benign action that we take as we move through our lives without them. I hear a song, or see something in a store, or make a purchase, or see something in his daughter about which I think Rhys would really have something to say. Then I pause and think to myself, “I guess I’ll never know about that.”

What’s odd is that our son is stuck at that one age. We knew what he would think about all kinds of things at that age. But our minds play tricks on us. We see Rhys’ friends making grown-up adult decisions and having adult opinions about everything. We always wonder what Rhys’ opinions would have become. And that my friends, is the saddest part. What would our son have become? What would we be talking about on a Saturday afternoon? Would we have feared multiple deployments? Would we talk about the economy? Kids? Parenting? (more…)

It is with great sadness that I follow-up my last post with the news that Bob Markham passed away the other night. A humble man with respect to his military service, Bob is truly a hero to Michael and to me, not just for that service, but because his calling was honoring those who have been killed in action in our most recent conflicts. His mission was to make sure those who died in Iraq and Afghanistan received the honor and remembrance that he and the veterans of Vietnam never received.

Bob’s mission was small, placing the flags on those graves in Riverside National Cemetery every Saturday, but so great and honoring in the lives of families left behind. Bob’s vision of America and its military was “old school” in some minds. Bob was proud to be an American and knew that serving in her military was a small sacrifice made in gratitude to those who have gone before and as a way of saying proudly, “this is my America.” (more…)