Is it possible to be happy and heartbroken at the same time?

Happy that my son is with Jesus; heartbroken that I will never see what his life here would have become.
Happy that I have a granddaughter that is the spitting image of my son in so many ways; heartbroken that she will only know her dad through stories and pictures. Happy that my son’s wife has found a new love and a new chapter; heartbroken that it seems like such a final chapter for me.

I think it is possible to have both of those emotions at the same time and that it is a true source of turmoil.

What do we do with the conflicting thoughts? How do we channel that confusion and turmoil into something positive? I think that I’ve discovered several things that can be done.

The first is to recognize that we have these inner conflicts and that they are not always neatly resolved in our heads. Yes, we can try to have logical arguments inside that neighborhood we call our mind, but that may only seem to cause more problems. Recognizing that there are no rules and solid solutions in matters of the heart is the first step. (more…)

As the third year anniversary of Rhys’ death approaches, I reflect on the year as all of us do; mostly trying to see if we’ve made any difference in the world. We hear and read daily about all kinds of horrible things that happen in the world. We lament the path our country is taking and we wonder what comes next.

We measure the time in intervals since Rhys’ death, an artificial time line that creeps into everything we do. It is easy to get discouraged when the year ends and still the world trudges on a path of fear, hatred, and uncertainty. What are we doing? Where are we going? Can anyone make a difference? (more…)

It is with great sadness that I follow-up my last post with the news that Bob Markham passed away the other night. A humble man with respect to his military service, Bob is truly a hero to Michael and to me, not just for that service, but because his calling was honoring those who have been killed in action in our most recent conflicts. His mission was to make sure those who died in Iraq and Afghanistan received the honor and remembrance that he and the veterans of Vietnam never received.

Bob’s mission was small, placing the flags on those graves in Riverside National Cemetery every Saturday, but so great and honoring in the lives of families left behind. Bob’s vision of America and its military was “old school” in some minds. Bob was proud to be an American and knew that serving in her military was a small sacrifice made in gratitude to those who have gone before and as a way of saying proudly, “this is my America.” (more…)