How to help those who grieve

Lynn | Thoughts & Reflections | Friday, September 24th, 2010

As I watched another Gold Star parent crumple into tears while listening to a Dad of another fallen soldier tell of his own loss, I wondered to myself, “how can I help someone who is so lost in grief?” Aren’t we comforted so that we are able to comfort others? How can we actively pursue that goal in a loving and empathetic manner?

I will start by saying that once you have personally experienced a devastating loss you are uniquely qualified to empathize with someone going through that type of loss. That is why we cry when we hear another person’s story. That is why we are so heavy hearted when we see the Patriot Guard escorting another hero home. That is why we are so quick to hug. That is also why we can assure someone that it will get better over time and that while we can’t “move on,” we can at least move forward.

God tells us that we can help. We can stand together with those who need encouragement and they are able to stand with us or with someone else. “Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who are fearful-hearted, “Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come and save you.”” Isaiah 35:3-4

Our actions don’t have to be huge. We can hug. We can quietly listen. Anyone who has truly grieved will tell you it is never about what you say…it is about being there; a quietly reassuring presence that you can make it through this without going crazy.

I gave that heartbroken dad a big hug. My husband gave him a big hug. No more was needed right then. Just a touch to let him know that we are all human and we are here for each other.



Account Executive at Sika Sarnafil
Lynn is an accomplished writer and business professional with a BA in English, an MBA, and JD degrees from prestigious Universities. Lynn has worked in the construction industry for 35 years.

She is also the mother of an American Hero. Her only child, Sgt. Rhys W. Klasno was killed in action on "Mother's Day," 13 May 2007 in Haditha, Iraq. Read her American Hero Tribute Blog and check out her Roofing Solutions Wonderkid Blog

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